Absolutions
by Lucilla2
Summary: In the immediate aftermath of DaySeason 2, Jack Bauer and his daughter Kim bond as a family again, and Jack and Kate take the first step towards a relationship.


Author's Note: In this reality, the last 2 minutes of hour 24 on Day 2 -- the assassination attempt on President Palmer -- did not occur yet.

A tall man of Middle-Eastern descent in a white coat walked through the open doorway. "Mr. Bauer?"

Jack's eyes opened, and he blinked a few times, quickly becoming alert when he recognized the cardiologist, Dr. Fehr. "Hello." His daughter Kim turned off the TV and moved to the side of his hospital bed while the doctor stepped over to the heart monitor. Careful not to disturb the numerous wires and tubes attached to his patient, Dr. Fehr pressed a button and a long tape rolled out with a printed copy of the heart rhythm.

Jack reached for the bed control, adjusting it so he could sit up higher. "I hope you're not here to tell me I need another test -- I'm starting to feel like a lab rat."

"No, no more tests at the moment." Dr. Fehr studied the tape closely while Kim watched anxiously. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally folded up the paper and tucked it into the chart he was carrying. "Much better." Then he pushed a few more buttons, and the monitor readout changed, displaying several rows of numbers. He scrolled through it, muttering, "Definitely better."

He reached behind the bed, disconnecting the clear plastic oxygen tubing from the socket in the wall. "I think we can get rid of this now and see how you do without it." He removed the other end from around Jack's head and nose, laying it aside, and Jack gave a small sigh of relief. "Well, Mr. Bauer, I think we have a clear picture now of what's going on with your heart."

Kim took her father's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Is he going to be ok, Doctor?"

"In time, yes I believe he will be." He looked down at the chart. "I've reviewed all the test results, and I've also spoken to Dr. Spire who gave me the details of the, uhm -" He glanced uneasily at Kim, "- treatment he gave you at his clinic."

"It's all right, Doctor," Kim said. "I already know his heart stopped when he was being interrogated."

"Ah, all right then," he said, relaxing slightly. "I must say that under the circumstances, with the numerous taser shocks and the physical trauma, it's not surprising that you suffered cardiac arrest. The attempts to revive you were equally stressful on your system, and the amount of epinephrine you were administered certainly qualifies as an overdose. Quite honestly, if you were not in such excellent physical condition beforehand, I doubt that you would have survived the ordeal. And the fact that you were able to continue your work as an intelligence agent for several hours afterward is nothing short of miraculous."

Jack gave a wry smile. "Just doing my job, Doc."

The doctor smiled back. "Well, we're all grateful for the work you and your colleagues have done to apprehend the terrorists." His expression sobered again. "But it has taken quite a toll on your body. The extreme stress and an epinephrine overdose can cause a number of the symptoms you described -- arrhythmia, tachycardia, hypertension -- "

"Uh, Doctor?" Kim interrupted. "Could you say that in plain English please?"

"Of course," he said with a polite smile. "The symptoms are an irregular heart beat, very rapid heart beat, high blood pressure, blurred vision, dizziness, severe headache, sweating, chest pain, muscle weakness and difficulty breathing."

Jack was nodding as the doctor spoke. "They all happened to me at one time or another. My heart was pounding like a jackhammer. I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest."

"In very simple terms, your heart muscles were going into spasms and that would cause the pain and other symptoms."

"So are you saying he did not have a heart attack?" Kim asked.

"No, there's no indication of that. And since we have put him on anti-arrhythmia drugs, there have only been a few incidents of irregular heartbeat, primarily when he was first admitted, and his blood pressure has dropped considerably. I believe that with plenty of rest and a stress-free environment, eventually the drugs will no longer be necessary. He'll be able to return to his regular routine."

"There's nothing 'regular' about my dad's routine," Kim said, and Jack grimaced slightly.

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk as though I'm not in the room," he complained.

"I told you I'd take care of you, Dad, and you get fuzzy sometimes because of the medication," she said, then turned her attention back to Dr. Fehr. "So what happens now? How long does he have to stay in the hospital?"

"I want to keep him here for several more days so we can closely monitor his heart rhythm. Fortunately there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage to the heart muscle itself, and we'd like to keep it that way."

Jack grimaced. "Several days? I can't just lay around here for that long with nothing to do."

"Dad," Kim admonished, "please, just do what he says."

"You won't be doing nothing, Mr. Bauer. When we think you are up to it, we will send you down to cardiac rehab and have you do some light exercise so we can monitor how your heart responds. And if I am satisfied with the results, then I will let you go home -- with the condition that you continue to come in for regular rehab and monitoring. In the meantime, I suggest you listen to your daughter and take it easy for a while. Your heart has been through a considerable trauma, and it needs time to recover. Consider yourself very fortunate you are not facing surgery or worse right now. You could easily have had a heart attack or a stroke."

"I do know how fortunate I am, Doctor," he said, looking over at Kim and squeezing her hand.

"I'll make sure he follows your instructions when he gets out of here," Kim said. "I'll be moving in with him so I can look after him."

"That's an excellent idea, Miss Bauer." He closed the chart and tucked it under his arm. "Well, I'll be back to check on you tomorrow. Until then, relax and get as much sleep as you can." Jack and Kim thanked him, and then were left alone.

"Relax, he says. Not an easy thing to do when the nurses come in every half hour to check on something -- draw blood, take my temperature, give me pills, adjust the I.V.s. I've got wires and tubes attached to me everywhere, and I can't even go to the bathroom without help." He sighed. "If rest is the main thing I need, I'd get a hell of a lot more of it at home in my own bed." He looked at his daughter, bringing both of his hands together to hold hers. "So... Are you _sure _you want to stay with me again, sweetheart...? A few days ago you didn't even want to talk to me -- you said you weren't ready to let me back into your life yet."

"I am ready now," she said sincerely. "I ... I think I have been ready for a while, but I ..." She cast her eyes downward. "I just couldn't admit it, because that would mean Mom was really gone and never coming back." His grip on her hand tightened. "Dad, you need me now. And I -- " She paused, still looking away. "And I need you too."

She leaned down over the bed railing and kissed him on the forehead, her eyes filling with tears and her voice faltering. "I'm so sorry I kept pushing you away. The things I said -- Mom never would have wanted that. I love you, Dad, and I'm so grateful you're all right."

"I love you too, honey." His eyes grew misty as well. "It's all right, I understand. I told you before; none of it is your fault. I know I could have handled things better and been more supportive, but losing your mom nearly killed me too."

He paused, George Mason's last words echoing through his mind. _Come on, Jack. You've had a death wish ever since Teri died. The way things have been going for you the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time. Leave your troubles behind. This could be the easy way out, huh? You still got a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero? Here's what you do. You get back down there and you put the pieces together. Find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife, you make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts. Go on, Jack. You got 12 minutes. What's it gonna be? You wanna live or not?_

And at that moment, he had decided he _did_ want to live.

Now he had the chance to make things right with Kim, and he could not believe how lucky he was that she had come to him first, after all that he had put her through. He knew that it would take a long time to work past all the pain, but there was no way he was going to let her down again.

"All I've ever wanted is for us to be a family again. The most important thing is that you're here with me and we're together."

She pulled back and swept the hair out of her face, blinking away the tears. "I didn't realize how important it was to me too until I thought you'd died in the bomb blast." She looked at him with the kind of adoration that he had not seen since she was a little girl. "I'm so proud of you, Dad, for what you did. L.A. would be a radioactive crater right now if it wasn't for you, or we'd be at war for the wrong reasons. I don't think I ever really understood, until now, what you do in your work. Maybe I never will understand the kind of risks you take, but I think I know now how hard it must be to come home and act normal after you've done your job and had to kill -- " her voice faltered for a moment, "to - to take someone's life."

There was a haunted look in her eyes that was all too familiar, and it tore him apart to see it in his own daughter. "Honey... do you want to talk about what happened in the Matheson's house?"

She shut her eyes and turned away. "No. No, not right now. I can't."

"You did what you had to do," he said softly. "You did what I told you to do. It was self-defense -- he'd already killed his wife, and he would have killed you. You had to shoot him, you know that, Kim."

"Dad, don't. Please, not now. I can't do this. I've already been through the whole thing with the cops earlier, while you were having all those tests done. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"What did the police say? Are you in trouble? If you are, I can talk to them; tell them I advised you to do it."

"No, they just wanted to get my statement. Tony talked to them, and they said that since Gary killed a cop, I'm practically a hero for taking him out. There won't be any charges."

"That's great," he said with a huge sigh of relief. He held his hand out to her. "Come're, baby." She sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down and laying across his chest, careful not to put too much weight on him or disturb any of the I.V.s. He draped his arm over her, running his hand soothingly across her back, and he could feel the tension in her muscles. "I'm so so sorry you had to go through all that alone... But I'm proud of how you handled yourself. I've always been proud of you."

She stifled a sob, and it broke his heart to see her in pain. "Shhhhh... shhhhh... it's all right, honey." Her tears dampened his gown as she gripped his shoulders.

After a few minutes, she started to pull away a little, sniffling and wiping away the remaining tears. He patted her back gently, saying, "If you don't want to talk to me about it, I understand. But there are other people you can talk to -- you shouldn't hold this in."

"I know. The cops gave me some names... And -- and I can always go back to Doctor Shepherd."

The grief counselor she had seen only a few times after her mother had been murdered -- he was encouraged to hear her mention him on her own. He stroked her hair. "... You ok, sweetheart?"

She nodded as she wiped the last tear away. Sitting up and balancing on the edge of the bed, she smoothed her hand over the wet spot on his hospital gown. "Sorry."

"S'ok... I think that's what dad's shoulders are for."

She rolled her eyes. "You're getting sappy now, Dad."

"Probably," he grinned for a moment. "But you went through a hell of a lot that day. Tony gave me the bits and pieces that he knew, but I'm interested in hearing about it all from you, especially what happened with the Matheson's."

"Yea, it was an insane day, but I'll tell you about it later. You went through way worse than me, and you're the one in the hospital," she said as she hopped off the bed. She straightened out some of the wires that had become tangled together. "I'm glad Dr. Fehr took that oxygen thing out of your nose."

"One more step towards going home," he smiled.

"You should get some sleep. I'll go sit in the cafeteria for a while, get something to eat."

"Don't bother, the food's lousy. You heard the doctor -- I'm going to be fine. You don't need to camp out here. Go home, get something to eat, a change of clothes, and _you_ get some sleep. You look exhausted."

"Yea, I guess maybe I am," she admitted.

"Do you still have the set of extra keys I gave you?" She nodded. "The smaller bedroom is yours; it still has most of your stuff from the house that you didn't take." He smiled as he looked up at her. "I'm glad you're moving back in with me -- I've missed you."

"Me too." She gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "Although you may not be all that happy to have me around taking care of you," she grinned. "I'll finally get some payback from when I was a kid -- now _I_ get to tell _you_ to eat your veggies and make you go to bed early," she teased.

He chuckled softly. "Get going before I change my mind then." When she was gone, he stared after her, a lone tear escaping from the corner of one eye. He sniffled, wiping it away with the back of his hand, and a contented smile spread over his face as he closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.

--o--

Kim stepped off the elevator the next morning carrying a big shopping bag. The nurses' station was between the elevator and her father's room, and she stopped to find out how his night had gone.

A tall middle-aged woman with a kind face answered her queries. "Your father is doing very well. He's been sleeping a lot, and as far as I know he hasn't had any new complications." She looked at his chart. "I see they have him scheduled to go down to cardiac rehab this afternoon, so hopefully he'll be on his feet again and on his way home very soon."

"That so great," she beamed. She looked around at the area and noticed a lot more flower arrangements than the day before. "Those flowers are beautiful."

"Yes, they are. Most of them were sent to your father."

"Really? Wow." Kim walked over and looked at them, smelling the various flowers.

"Flowers aren't allowed in patient rooms in CCU, so we kept them out here. There were actually several more that came this morning, but we didn't have space for them, so your father said to send them down to pediatrics. They're lovely flowers, but we'd appreciate it if you'd take them home with you when you leave today."

Kim nodded as she looked at the other cards on the flower arrangements, noticing that he had kept the ones sent by CTU and one from Kate Warner. 'Get well soon' was all the card said, and she wondered yet again how her father felt about this woman.

She went to his room, discovering that he already had visitors, Tony Almeida and Michelle Dressler from CTU. She hovered outside the door for a few moments, noticing that Tony and her father were deep in conversation.

"I don't know, Tony. Work is the furthest thing from my mind right now," Jack was saying. He frowned, and that was when his eyes turned towards the doorway, and he saw her. His face lit up with a wide smile. "Hey, honey, there you are." He extended his hand towards her.

She lingered in the doorway. "You can only have two visitors at a time."

"No, you stay, Kim. We were just heading back to the office anyway," Tony said.

"Take it easy, Jack," Michelle said as the pair walked to the door. "We're all thinking about you. Anything you need, let us know."

"And think about what I said." Tony paused in the doorway, locking eyes with Jack.

"Yea, yea, I will." Jack looked uncomfortable, and she wondered what they had been talking about.

Tony came up to her and hugged her for a moment. "Hey, Kim." He led her down the hall a few feet, away from Jack's room. "How're you holding up?"

She sighed heavily. "I'm a lot better now that I know he's going to be all right. I slept at his place last night, and I'm going to move back in with him and help take care of him while he recovers from all this. The doctors say that he needs to take it easy, and I know he won't do that if he's on his own."

Tony smiled. "You're probably right about that. But I know he's very happy that you're here -- it means a lot to him."

"Like I told your father, anything we can do for you, just let us know," Michelle said.

"Thanks, I appreciate that. And I'll probably take you up on it when he's ready to come home."

"Just give us a call; you know where to find us." Tony glanced at his watch. "We gotta go. Take it easy, and make sure you take care of yourself too, Kim."

They left, and she went into her father's room. "Morning, Dad," she said cheerily, smiling broadly.

"Morning, sweetheart."

She kissed him on the cheek. "The doctor was right about you doing better. There's more color in your face, and you look more normal."

"Thanks. I do feel better today."

"Of course, the biggest improvement of all was when you shaved off the beard the other day -- you were starting to look like you should be living in a cardboard box under a bridge."

Jack winced, shaking his head, but was inwardly pleased. If she was making jokes at his expense, he truly was getting better. He looked down at the shopping bag. "What've you got there?"

"Well I dug through your closet and managed to find a clean robe." She pulled out the old red flannel plaid garment and hung it in the small closet. "You've had that thing ever since I can remember -- I think you need some new clothes, Dad." He grinned, nodding. "I brought some pajamas too, in case they'll let you wear something besides that hospital gown. Plus I found a few sports magazines lying around that I thought you might like to read in case you get bored. Then I stopped by the gift shop before I came up here and got a few fashion magazines so I don't end up bored out of my mind either." She dug into the bottom of the bag. "Oh, and guess what else I found in the gift shop?" She pulled out a travel-size chess game and handed it to him. "In the mood to get beaten?" she grinned.

"You wish," he scoffed as he turned the package over in his hand, wondering how they could get a full set of chess pieces inside the small plastic box. "God, it's been a long time since we played together." A moment later he realized that the last time had been the day before Teri had died, but he pushed those memories aside, focusing on the here and now.

"If you're going to be here a few more days, we'll definitely need things to pass the time, because the TV channels in this place suck."

"Tell me about it."

"I brought a deck of cards too, but I thought chess would be more fun. Like old times, huh, Dad?"

"Yea... Like old times," he said, swallowing past a lump in his throat as he smiled at her, and she smiled back. He did not know if was the medications, or the fact that he was sick and vulnerable, but something was making him overly sentimental and nostalgic these past few days. All he wanted to do was freeze this moment in time, and hold his daughter in his arms and never let her go. He did not know what he had done to done to deserve her love, because he certainly had not been there for her in the past the way he should have been, but he vowed to never take it for granted again.

He kept his thoughts to himself to avoid embarrassing them both, however. and peered down into the bag. "Any food in there? Breakfast was lousy again. They've got me on one of those restricted diets," he said with a grimace.

"Nope, sorry. You're going to do whatever the doctors say." Jack rolled his eyes a bit but said nothing. "So what did Tony want you to think about?"

He hesitated. "It's nothing."

"They want you to come back to work at CTU, don't they?" she said, sounding as though she was not particularly happy about it.

He hesitated again, and then nodded. "Yea. When I went back the other day, it was only supposed to be a one-time assignment, because they needed me for a specific job. But Tony said Division is considering asking me to come back full time, assuming the doctors give me a clean bill of health when I'm recovered. I think President Palmer has something to do with it." He paused a moment before asking, "How would you feel if I went back?"

"I -- I don't know. I know you're good at what you do, but it's so dangerous. I -- " she stared down at the floor. "I've already lost mom, and I nearly lost you. I don't want to see you put your life on the line again." Then she looked up. "But it's not my decision to make, is it?"

He took her hand in his. "But I don't think I would want to do it if you were opposed to it, honey." She could not look him in the eye, and he said, "Hey, we shouldn't even be talking about this yet -- it'll be a while before I'll be ready to go back to work."

"Right. You shouldn't be thinking about anything except getting better," she admonished. She busied herself with making sure his blankets and pillows were just so, fussing over him. "The doctors said no stress."

The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile as he laid back. "Yes, ma'am."

--o--

"Jack...? Are you awake?"

The woman's softly whispered words registered through his sleepy state, pushing him back towards wakefulness, and he cursed inwardly, wondering if he would ever be able to take a nap this afternoon without someone interrupting him.

When he opened his eyes, he was pleasantly surprised to find Kate Warner standing a few feet from his bed.

"Hi Kate," he said, smiling warmly at her as he hastily tried to pull up the sheets which had slipped down to his waist. He was happy that she had come to visit him -- he had been thinking about her a lot the past few days -- but this wasn't exactly _how_ he wanted her to see him. Unshaven, unwashed, dressed in a flimsy hospital gown and tethered to an I.V. and a heart monitor, he was hardly very appealing at the moment.

"I woke you up, didn't I? I'm sorry, I'll come back later," she whispered, backing towards the door again.

"No, you didn't, really. I just had my eyes closed." He sat up straighter, adjusting the bed so he could see her better, trying to ignore the lingering embarrassment. "There's not much to do around here besides sleep," he said with a friendly smile.

"Are you sure? I don't want to disturb you."

He nodded.

"Ok. Well, when I heard you were still in the hospital, I decided to stop by and see how you're doing." He saw her eyes wander around the room, taking on a worried air at the sight of all the sophisticated monitoring equipment that surrounded him.

"It's not nearly as bad as it looks," he said, trying to put her mind at ease. "Sometimes I think I've woken up in a bad sci-fi movie where I've been abducted by aliens and they've got me hooked up to all these machines to monitor every possible bodily function you can imagine," he joked, and she forced a smile.

"If it's not too personal, can you tell me what's wrong? Did you have a heart attack?" she asked with genuine concern.

"No, thank god. I have an irregular heartbeat. Or rather, I had it. For the last two days it's been relatively normal. I feel fine, but they say they need to keep monitoring me for a while longer. And so I'm stuck here, bored out of my mind, until they say it's safe to go home." She was standing there awkwardly, holding her purse, and he gestured towards the chair. "Why don't you sit down, Kate?"

"Thanks," she said, smiling more naturally now, pulling the chair closer and sitting down. "I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better. Do they know what caused the irregular heartbeat?"

Jack hesitated. He was fairly certain she had no idea he had been tortured that night. Not very many people did. "It was from an overdose of epinephrine."

"Isn't that what they use for a severe allergic reaction? How did you overdose on it?" He did not answer, and she looked uncomfortable again. "I'm sorry; I know it's none of my business."

"No, it's ok. It's just that -- " He paused again, sighing. "There's something else that happened to me that night that you're not aware of. Things were happening pretty fast, and I didn't have time to get into details."

He paused again, unsure of what to say. He was not one to look for sympathy, but yet he was tired of pretending it had not happened.

"There was a reason why I didn't show up to meet you and Yusuf after we separated at the clinic. I distracted those men long enough for the two of you to get away with the chip, but they caught up with me and dragged me down into the basement of the clinic. When I wouldn't tell them where the chip was they used a stun gun on me to try to get me to talk. Apparently, they got a little overenthusiastic and I went into cardiac arrest. They used a defibrillator and epinephrine to revive me, but they used too much of the drug." He deliberately omitted the full details of how he had been tortured.

Kate raised her hand to her mouth. "Oh my god... But -- but you seemed okay when you came over to my house later and saved me from those lunatics." He did not respond, and she continued, "How did you get away?"

"They brought the clinic's doctor down to work on me, and he loosened my ropes so I was able to escape. I went to the rendezvous spot in case the two of you were still there, but all I found was Yusuf. Before he died, he told me you'd been attacked and had the chip at your house. So I got there as soon as I could."

She was still staring. "But your heart had stopped."

He nodded.

"And you still managed to escape?"

He kept nodding.

"Then you saved my life, retrieved the chip and eventually managed to catch the guys who were working with the terrorists."

"Something like that, yeah," he said modestly.

She sat back in the chair, shaking her head in disbelief. "You are an amazing man, Jack Bauer."

Her glowing smile warmed his heart, and he felt unusually tongue-tied. "I'm just a guy doing a job," he said.

"I doubt that," she said. "You saved my life. Several times."

"I also put you in danger in the first place -- several times."

"I wanted to help," she said sincerely.

They looked into each other's eyes, and Jack remembered that brief moment of peace, the connection they had made that night amidst all the chaos, holding Kate in his arms in the middle of her kitchen. He had offered her comfort to assuage the guilt she felt about her traitorous sister, telling her that she should not blame herself for things she could not control. But as he had spoken the words to her, it was as if he were breaking free of his own guilt, giving himself permission to let go of the past and start to live his life again. Something in her beautiful eyes made him want to dare to take a chance.

But did he truly have the courage to act on his feelings? And would she even want him, after seeing the darkest side of him?

Kate was the first one to end the eye contact, a slight pink flush coming to her cheeks, and Jack was gratified to know that he was not the only one who felt awkward.

She looked up again, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear as she did so, a simple gesture that he found fascinating. He also noticed the small Band-Aid on her ear, her own souvenir from that hellacious day when she too had been physically threatened and assaulted by one of the terrorists. "So how long do you think they're going to keep you here?"

"They keep telling me it might not be until the end of the week, but I think that's crazy. I feel fine."

"It's your heart you're talking about here. I'd do what they say, if I were you. You may not feel so fine once they let you out of bed."

"You sound like Kim," he said affectionately. "She's been hovering around here like a mother hen, making sure I follow doctor's orders and don't give the nurses a hard time. And she says she's going to come stay with me when they release me so she can take care of me."

He chuckled to himself. "Somewhere along the line our roles go reversed and she became the parent. I'm supposed to be the one that takes care of her."

"She loves you very much. That's easy to see even though I've only met her briefly. I was there with her when they took you to the hospital in the ambulance. She tried to be brave, but she was very scared. When someone you love is sick, you feel so helpless, and I think that by taking care of you, it gives her some kind of control back, even if it's only a small amount. You should let her take of you while you recover -- it would probably be very good for both of you."

He smiled gently at her. "You're very perceptive."

"Not really," she smiled back. "From the outside, things like that are pretty obvious. But when you're in the middle of a situation, sometimes you can't see what's going on right in front of you." She paused, her expression changing abruptly. She closed her eyes and said quietly. "How perceptive can I be when I didn't even know that my own sister was a terrorist?"

"Kate." He tried to get up, then once again cursed the fact that he could barely move because of the I.V.s. "It's not your fault."

"She's my sister. I should have seen something."

"Your father works for the CIA, and he didn't see it. What makes you think you should have?" She did not answer, turning away to stare out into the hallway. "Listen to me," he pushed. "You are not responsible for her actions."

His logical arguments were not working any better now than they had when they held each other in her kitchen. He hated to see her in such distress. He paused, chewing on his lip as he debated whether to open up to her about the most painful chapter in his own life. "Look, uhm... something similar happened to me nearly two years ago. I probably shouldn't be talking about it because it involves classified information, but I think it might help you to hear it."

Her eyes met his again.

"I was in charge of field ops at CTU. My wife and I were separated at the time. There was woman in the office, an agent who worked for me and that I trained, and I was romantically involved with her for a short while."

Talking about Nina Meyers threatened to unleash a flood of emotions, something he was not prepared to deal with just yet.

The first time he had met Kate, it was barely an hour after he had last seen Nina. Nina, a traitor and a murderer, was still alive and was now out of prison, freed by a pardon she had extorted from President Palmer. He had had the chance to kill her several times, but because of the vital information she had to trade he had somehow restrained himself from taking his revenge.

Yet now, as he had then, he forced his emotions back under control so he could function and continue with his story. "I'll call her Gina although that's not her real name. When my wife and I decided to reconcile, the affair ended. I trusted Gina completely, even with the safety of my daughter and my wife when they were threatened by someone who was trying to get to me. Gina betrayed us... In reality she was a double agent working against us when we were trying to prevent an act of terrorism. Eventually we discovered what she really was, but not before --"

He swallowed hard. "Before she murdered my wife and nearly got Kim killed too."

He stopped, closing his eyes, struggling not to let the emotions overwhelm him. He could not share the worst of it with her, that Teri had been pregnant when she died and with that one squeeze of a trigger, his whole future had been stolen from him.

"I - I don't know what to say... I had no idea." Kate glanced at the cardiac monitors "Maybe you shouldn't be talking about this right now. The nurses told me you needed to stay calm."

He glanced at them too, but there was only a small increase in heart rate and blood pressure. "It's OK -- there's not much more." He took another deep breath. "I blamed myself for Teri's death. The guilt nearly ate me alive. I worked long hours with Gina, and we were intimate -- I should have been able to see it. My wife died because I couldn't see what was in front of my face."

He stared up at the ceiling. "I shut down. I could barely function, and I even thought about killing myself."

"Oh Jack," he heard her whisper.

"The only thing that kept me going was Kim. She'd lost her mother, and I knew I had to be there for her, even though I was really screwed up myself. But these past few days, I began to realize that I couldn't keep blaming myself for everything. The fact was Gina was a damn good liar, and I wasn't the only one she fooled. And she held the gun that killed Teri, not me."

He turned towards her again. "What I'm trying to say is, don't do what I did. Don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. You can't take responsibility for someone else's actions. It's stupid and pointless and it doesn't do anyone any good, least of all you." He gave her a warm smile. "You're a good woman, Kate."

_An exceptional one, in fact_.

"You did everything you could possibly do to help us, and then some, and you held up better than most civilians ever would in those kinds of situations. You did the best you could, and that's all any of us can ever do. Please, don't ever blame yourself for your sister's actions."

She could not quite meet his eyes. "I know you're right... but it's hard not to feel responsible anyway... I'll think about what you said, and I'll try." She was silent for a few moments before looking at him. "Thanks for sharing that with me. It obviously wasn't very easy to talk about."

His eyes focused on his hands. "No, it wasn't," he said softly. "I guess I... I needed to talk to someone." He looked up at her. "Someone who might truly understand what it feels like to be betrayed by someone so close to you."

He could tell by the pained look on her face that she knew all too well. "It's a hard thing to face, I know. And it does things to you too, if you let it. Makes it difficult to -- " His eyes flickered over at her in a longing look, and then shifted away again. "To trust anyone again." His eyes returned slowly to hers, and as they gazed at each other for a long moment, he knew Kate understood what he was trying to say -- that he was drawn to her, but he was not sure if he could let down his guard enough to trust her and let her into his heart. He was damaged goods, an emotional minefield, and any woman with an ounce of sense would never want to take a chance with him.

He found himself holding his breath, waiting for her reply. Her face was unreadable, eyes unfocused as she stared past him, lost in thought. Finally, her expression softened, and she looked at him the way she had when they were standing in her kitchen after he had saved her life. "Jack... I put my trust in you several times, because you asked me to, because you told me you'd keep me safe. I believed in you. You didn't let me down, and I'm still alive. And you trusted me with your only daughter." One corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. "So maybe trust isn't that much of an issue after all."

"Yeah... maybe not." He exhaled slowly, the tension draining out him as he allowed himself a small smile in return.

He did not know what to say after that -- there had been no one in his life since Teri died, and the prospect of starting over again with someone else was as frightening as it was exhilarating. Trusting her with his heart was a hell of a lot more dangerous than trusting her with his life.

Thankfully, the awkward silence that fell between them was broken a few moments later when one of the nurses came into the room. She checked his vital signs, and then proceeded to disconnect one of his I.V. drips.

"Jeannie, you're an angel," Jack beamed at her, flexing his arm, grateful for the extra bit movement it gave him.

"Don't thank me," she smiled back as she removed the half-empty I.V. bag. "It was doctor's orders. He'll be making his rounds through here in about an hour."

"Well, thank you anyway," he said as she left the room again. He was still smiling broadly as he told Kate, "I'm one step closer to getting out of here."

"That's wonderful," she said, smiling back. "I'm so glad you're going to be all right." There was still a lingering awkwardness between them, but the interruption had thankfully redirected the conversation to something that was less emotionally charged.

Kate was looking around the room with a puzzled expression. "You know, I sent you flowers yesterday, but I don't see them. I guess you never got them."

"They did deliver them, but there's a rule on this ward about no flowers. Something about the pollen being an allergen. Kim took them home with her. They're at my place."

"I'm sorry -- I wish I'd known that. It's a shame you won't get to enjoy them here. They'll be wilted by the time you go home."

"Kim's enjoying them, so it's not a waste at all." It surprised him just how pleased he was that this woman had come to visit him, and how anxious he was to maintain a connection with her. He tried to keep it out of his voice, however, not wanting to appear too desperate, and continued, "She loved the flowers -- they're very pretty. It was very thoughtful of you to have sent them, Kate," he said sincerely. "Thank you."

She smiled warmly, a hint of blush in her cheeks. "It's nothing -- I was just thinking about you. And Kim," she added quickly.

"We both appreciate it."

They looked into each other's eyes.

She looked away shyly, and then stepped closer to the bed. "I really would like to come back and visit again, but I'm not sure if I can this week. It's absolutely chaotic at our company, and my father and I have our hands full trying to keep things together."

"You could use a break too, after all you've been through," he suggested.

"Maybe. But I don't have much of a choice. The FBI and CTU are crawling all over the place looking for any other illegal activities Marie might have been involved with. They've been at the house too. We've had to move out; they're literally tearing the place apart. I'm not sure we can ever go back there, even if we want to. I think the neighbors would be more than happy to see us go." She shook her head. "It really is a nightmare. Mr. Almeida has been sympathetic and tried to make things a little easier, but it's still tough... I wonder if there will ever be an end to all this?" she sighed.

"There will be," he assured her. "Just be patient. The fact that you assisted the investigation is a big factor in your favor. And I'll help in any way I can."

"Thanks, Jack." There was an awkward pause. "Well, if Kim likes flowers so much, I can send more when you're home to enjoy them. Or I could bring them by myself...?" She looked at him pointedly, again with a hint of blush in her cheeks. "If that's all right with you, of course."

Jack smiled warmly. "It's more than all right with me. I'd like that a lot."

"Good." She nodded, self-consciously tucking a lock of loose hair behind her ear and smiling.

"A hospital room isn't the best place to talk. And I'm probably a lot better company when I'm not a human pincushion," he held up his arm with the one remaining I.V., "and when I'm not being shot at."

She laughed softly, a sound that warmed his heart. "I'm sure you are." She glanced down at her watch and frowned. "I have to leave in a few minutes; there's a meeting I can't miss. It's probably best that I go anyway. You look tired, and I'm sure you need to get back to that nap I interrupted."

"I've had plenty of naps."

She looked at him skeptically, and he admitted, "But yea, you're right -- I am a bit tired." And it was the truth. He felt deep down bone tired, seemingly just from this conversation, and he was beginning to realize he was a lot sicker than he was willing to admit.

"Kate." He reached out with his hand, and she took it, holding it gently between both of hers. Her touch sent a shiver through his body. "Thank you. I'm so glad you came."

"So am I. Take care of yourself, Jack. I will be in touch again soon, I promise." She stepped closer to the bed, bending down to kiss him tenderly on the cheek. A lock of her silky blonde hair fell against him and he raised his free hand, brushing her hair back, letting his fingertips linger on the side of her face as she leaned over him.

"I'll be looking forward to that," he whispered as he looked into her beautiful green eyes. He could loose himself in those eyes, he decided, and if he had been anywhere besides a hospital bed, he would have kissed her back.

"I'll see you again soon." She gave his hand a squeeze, then reluctantly let go of it and took a step back. "Bye, Jack."

She had gathered her things and was nearly out the door when he said, "Hang on a minute." She stopped. "Do you have some paper and a pen?"

"Yea." She hunted through her purse, handing him a small notepad and a ballpoint pen. "Here."

The I.V. needle in his wrist turned his handwriting into a barely-legible scrawl. "My home and cell phone numbers. They're unlisted."

"Yea, that would help, wouldn't it?" She blushed again. "I guess I'm a little rusty at this."

"So am I." They smiled at each other again, then she backed away, keeping eye contact. She kept watching him as she left, waving as she departed, and he waved back

When she was gone, he settled more comfortably into the pillows, his glowing smile gradually fading into a wistful one as he looked at his left hand and the empty space where his wedding ring once was.

--o--

Kim's arm was around Jack's waist as they walked through the door of his apartment. Tony was behind, carrying a couple of flower vases. The flowers joined a half dozen other arrangements in the room. "It looks like a florist's shop in here," Jack quipped.

"You're a popular guy, Dad," Kim said with a smile.

She left his side and went back out to the car. Jack stopped in the middle of the living room, just standing there and looking around.

"Glad to be home?" Tony asked.

"You have no idea," he said emphatically. "One more day in there and I was going to go insane. Our interrogators could learn a thing or two from some of those nurses."

Tony laughed. "I'll bet they could."

Jack sat down on his couch, sprawling across it, allowing his head to fall back and closing his eyes, letting out a contented sigh. Kim came back in with a couple bags of her father's things and medications, setting them down inside the door and shutting it behind her.

"Thanks for your help, Tony," Jack said. "Why don't you stay for a while and we'll have something to eat." He looked over at his daughter. "Do we have anything in the house, honey, or should we order Chinese? Or pizza? I think I still have some beer in the fridge too."

"Dad." She put her hands on her hips, giving him an exasperated look, "you know what the doctors said. No take-out food and you can't drink alcohol while you're taking that medication. They gave us a list of things you should and shouldn't eat, and we're sticking to that. Yesterday I went through the whole kitchen and threw out all the junk food. Really, Dad, you shouldn't eat all that crap, especially not now. I went to the grocery store yesterday too, and the health food store, and got lots of healthy stuff that'll help you get better." She picked up his things and carried them back towards the bedrooms. "I'll make us a salad in a little while."

"No, Kim, none for me. I can't stay," Tony said quickly.

"You're sure? It's no problem; we have plenty. In fact, I think I bought too much."

"Yea, I'm sure."

Jack and Tony looked at each other as she went through to the back. Tony smiled and started to chuckle quietly. "I think you were better off with the nurses."

"I think you're right," Jack muttered, rubbing his forehead with a long-suffering look. "She's very determined when she sets her mind to something."

"Remind you of anyone you know?" Tony said with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

Jack stared blankly at him, and then laughed. "Yea... god help us both."

Tony patted him on the shoulder. "Good luck, my friend." His grin widened. "You're going to need it."

--o--

"Dad." Jack looked up from the TV. "It's time for your pills." Kim had a couple capsules in one hand and a glass of water in the other. "And the instruction sheet says you should use that ointment on your wounds so they don't leave as much of a scar. It says we need to check for infection too."

He smiled softly and got up. "Kim." He cupped her face gently between his hands. "I know you're trying to take care of me, and I appreciate that more than you know. But I'm not an invalid, and I can tell time." He kissed her on the forehead, and then stepped back, taking the pills and swallowing them with the glass of water. "And I can put the ointment on myself. I know the signs of infection much better than you."

"Okay, I know. I just -- I just want to do everything I can. I -- "

He put his fingers over her lips. "You don't have to explain." He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. "I'm going to be just fine, sweetheart, and we're going to get through this, I promise."

As they separated, he went on, "You don't need to stay here hovering over me all day. Go out with your girlfriends, have some fun, and get away from the old man a while. Or go to the mall and spend my money. I'll be here when you get back."

"So I'm being a pain in the ass, is that it?" she said with a lopsided grin.

"Overprotective is a nicer word."

She rolled her eyes at him and went back into the kitchen, muttering something about "parents" under her breath.

She put the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher and started the machine, then straightened up the kitchen. She looked through the refrigerator and freezer, trying to decide what to fix for lunch, then walked back towards the living room to ask him what he wanted.

The question died on her lips when she saw her father standing near his cluttered desk, staring down at one of the wilting flower arrangements. She had already thrown out most of the flowers and now only a few sad-looking pink carnations remained. Even those should have been thrown out yesterday, but she had kept them around as long as possible because Kate had sent them.

She watched him for a few moments as his fingers brushed against the edges of the card, then walked towards him. He turned, pretending he had not just been caught standing there, and she said, "You should call her."

"Who?"

She gave him a 'how stupid do you think I am?' look. "Kate. You like her, don't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you'd just met her when you sent her to pick me up after what happened with Gary Matheson. I know you, Dad -- you wouldn't ask just anyone to do that."

He did not say anything, uncomfortable with the whole subject.

"She sent you flowers," Kim went on. "You should call and thank her. Girls like that."

He did not know how to respond to that either, unsure if he was reading her right. "Are you saying you _want_ me to call her, honey?" He stepped closer and laid his hand on her arm. "Isn't that going to... to upset you?" When he was talking to Kate in the hospital, he had not thought about how Kim might react, but ever since then it had been all he could think about, since he did not want to do anything that might drive Kim away from him again.

"I'm not gonna lie," she said finally, "and say it isn't going to be weird to see you with someone besides Mom."

He looked down quickly but she could see the pain that flashed in his eyes at the mention of her mother. "And god knows, the concept that my own father actually has a sex life is totally gross." His face reddened and he looked as though he wanted to bolt out of the room. "But you shouldn't be alone. You need a life outside of work. I - " she looked away for a moment, and then met his eyes again. "I want you to be happy, I really do... And so would Mom -- she wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life alone either."

Jack turned away, struggling with his emotions. After a long pause, he said, "Kate is a lovely woman... but I don't know if I'm ready to move on. Your mother and I were together for a long time. And given what I do for a living, it might be best if I don't get involved with anyone again," he said with a heavy sigh. Moreover, after what had happened with Nina, he did not trust his judgment when it came to women anymore.

"Dad..." she waited until he looked at her again. "I'm not telling you to marry her, you know. I just want you to know if you do call her or go out on a date I won't freak, ok? She seems like a nice lady. Pretty too, and I think she's rich."

Jack gave an embarrassed, self-conscious laugh as his face flushed again, and he put his hand up to his face to hide it. "Daughters..." he muttered to himself with a shake of his head. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the temple. "Thank you for giving me your blessing."

She hugged him back, and then looked up at him. "So when are you going to call her? If you don't do it soon, it'll look bad... Unless you lie and say you were too sick to call."

He hesitated, not sure if he wanted to get into this with his daughter.

"Come on, Dad. Go for it."

"Honey... I don't need to call and thank Kate because I've already done it."

Her eyes widened. "Really? When?"

"She came to see me in the hospital the third day, when you weren't there. I thanked her for the flowers and told her they were very nice."

"Oh my god. Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Because I'm your father, and I have no intention of telling you everything about my personal life."

"What happened, what did she say? Come on -- details!"

"What did I just say?"

"Dad -- "

"It was just a friendly visit, that's all. She came by to see how I was, but she didn't stay long."

"If that's the case, then why keep it a secret until now?"

She had him there, he had to admit that. "It wasn't a secret. It just slipped my mind."

"Yea, right... So are you going to see her again?"

It was obvious she was not going to let go of the subject until he answered, so he relented. "Honestly, I don't know. I basically left things in her court... Happy now?"

She shook her head. "Hmmm... Maybe I should give her a call and thank her for the flowers. And while I'm at it, I could drop a few hints about what a great guy my dad is." She picked up the cordless phone. "What's her number?"

"NO! Absolutely not! You will _not_ call Kate."

"Maybe she just needs a little push," she said with a mischievous grin.

"Kimberly, no! Give me that phone. Don't you dare do that to me!" he snapped and it startled her. "Sorry, sweetheart... But this is serious, and this is my life. Don't mess with it."

"Sorry. I was just trying to help."

"You really want to help me? Don't help. Keep this up and you really will give me a heart attack."

"That's not funny."

"Look, she's got a lot going on right now with her family, and the last thing I want to do is pressure her."

"OK, OK... I'll stay out of it, I promise," she said as she set the phone down.

"Thank you."

There was a brief pause. "Did you give her your phone number?"

"Kim," he growled.

She laughed. "You really do like her, don't you?"

He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "I'm not having his conversation anymore," he said as he went into the kitchen, trying to sound upset but still with the hint of a grin on his face.

She smiled widely as she followed him. "What do you want for lunch?"

"What do I _want_?" His stomach was still grumbling at him after that breakfast omelet made with an egg substitute. "I want a bacon cheeseburger, fries, onion rings and a couple beers."

She scowled. "Dad -- "

"I know what you're going to say. I can't have it because -- "

" -- it's not on the list." They both said in near unison.

He gave her a lop-sided grin. "Sweetheart, I know you mean well, but I can't live on low-fat green stuff. A little cheating once in a while won't hurt."

"Well, we'll see what they have to say about that when you go to rehab tomorrow... The food's not that bad... is it?" she said, sounding a bit hurt.

"No, of course not," he lied. She had been so affectionate the past two weeks, and it felt so good to see her smile at him again that he did not have the heart to go against her in any way when she was only trying to help him. "It's just... not what I'm used to eating."

She looked at him with those big wide eyes, and his heart melted. Tony was right -- he was wrapped tight around her little finger. He resisted the urge to let out a resigned sigh and continued, "If it's what you want, I'll do whatever they recommend." He put his arm around her shoulder for a minute, kissing her forehead. "I really appreciate what you've been doing, taking care of the place and cooking and everything. Fix whatever you want for lunch." He hugged her. "Anything my little girl makes for me is fine with me," he smiled, and then gave her another kiss before he let her go.

"Thanks, Dad," she smiled back happily.

_You don't stand a chance, Jack_, he thought to himself with an affectionate shake of his head as he went back out into the living room.

--o--

Kim carried in the laundry basket, bringing it into her room, sorting and folding the clothes still hot from the dryer. In the background, she heard the shower stop and, a few minutes later, her father headed into his bedroom. She had nearly finished the whole pile when she began to hear odd noises coming from his room. She got up and went out into the hallway, noticing that his door was slightly ajar. From inside, she heard soft grunts and groans, as if he were in pain. Worried, she went to the door, pushing it open quietly. Through the gap in the door, she could see his reflection in the floor-length mirror.

He was standing in front of the mirror, his back to it, looking over his shoulder at his reflection with a small hand mirror. Wearing only a pair of sweatpants that were pulled down low on his waist, he was twisting and turning in an attempt to look at the various bruises, wounds and burns on his back and abdomen. Up until now, he had kept her from seeing him shirtless -- even in the hospital he had sent her out of the room whenever they were changing bandages. She had seen the rope-burns on his wrists and knew intellectually that he had been tortured for information, but now, seeing the full extent of his injuries and imagining what had been done to leave marks like that, made her sick to her stomach. The scars were still angry red, the burns puckering the tanned flesh in a sickening pattern, with numerous bruises, the largest of which was in the middle of his chest. Presumably, he had gotten the latter from the epinephrine needle that had been jammed into his chest to restart his heart, and it had turned into an ugly yellow-green color as it healed and faded. The sheer number and extent of the injuries shocked her, and she put a trembling hand over her mouth.

He heard her involuntary gasp and turned towards the door. "Kim?"

She pushed the door open all the way and saw more scars. "Oh my god... Oh my god, Dad, what did they _do_ to you?" she said in a choked voice, tears filling her eyes.

"Shit." He covered his torso with his arms as he grabbed for his shirt, turning his back on her. "Damn it, Kim, you shouldn't be in here!" Only when he had buttoned the shirt all the way up did he turn to face her. He saw the horrified look on her face, and his mood softened. "I'm sorry I yelled, but I didn't want you to see this yet."

She nodded numbly, then came over and put her arms around his neck, pulling him close but being overly careful not to hug him too hard and thus cause him pain, laying her head against his shoulder.

"It wasn't as bad as it looks," he lied. "I went through training in the military to withstand interrogations like that. And if it's any consolation, the people that did this to me are all dead."

"Did you kill them?"

"Yes, I did. They never got what they were looking for because they didn't have time to break me, and I helped bring all the rest of them down. The good guys won, baby."

She held him for a while longer, then stepped away and looked up at him, regaining her composure. "They don't pay you nearly enough for what you go through."

"No, they certainly don't," he said with a smile. "But I don't do it for the money."

"I didn't mean to walk in on you like that, but I heard a noise, and it sounded like you were in pain. I was only checking to make sure you were all right."

"I'm fine, honey. Things are healing. It's slow, but it's healing. And with all the antibiotics they've had me on, I don't think there's much chance of infection."

She started back out the door, and then stopped. "It must hurt to try to reach the ones on your back."

He nodded.

"Let me help. At least let me do the stuff you can't reach."

He shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"But I've already seen it all now."

He ran his hand through his damp hair. "I'll see how much I can do on my own -- I'll call you if I need you, OK?"

In the end, he did ask her to help with a couple of spots that were just too damn painful to reach. His whole body still felt like one big bruise, especially when he tried to get out of bed in the mornings.

The majority of his injuries from the torture were now covered with the milky white ointment, shielding them from his daughter's eyes. He flinched slightly the first time she touched him, and tears burned in her eyes, her hands shaking, but she did not say anything as she smeared on the ointment, and he bore the discomfort with his usual stoic reserve.

There were many long, precise cuts, as if they were made with a scalpel or razor blade, not deep enough to do major damage but certainly enough to hurt like hell. The worst were the burns, some of them seared over a cut. She tried not to think about how he had gotten injuries like that, concentrating on the task at hand, but by the time that she had finished, tears were rolling down her face. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, sniffling softly.

Jack looked over his shoulder quickly, brow furrowed with concern. He turned his body away, taking the tube of ointment out of her hand. "Thanks, honey, that's good enough," he said in a subdued voice.

He reached for a roll of gauze, and when he turned back, their eyes met. Her bottom lip was quivering, fresh tears in her eyes as she hesitantly began, "How -- ?"

"Don't." His voice was quiet yet insistent. "Kim, just... Just don't go there -- there are some things you really don't need to know."

There was a fleeting shadow behind his eyes that chilled her to the bone, and she was suddenly grateful for his silence. "I won't ask again," she said, biting her lower lip and looking anywhere but at him. She got up from the bed hastily and left the room, returning a few minutes later with a pile of his clean shirts. She helped him finish wrapping the protective gauze around his torso -- it allowed him to wear a shirt without discomfort -- then watched as he struggled to pull on a white undershirt.

There were a million questions running through her head, questions she had wanted to ask him for the last eighteen months but had been too afraid to learn the answers to, and too angry with him to know where to start. "Dad?"

"Yeah?" he said, distracted as he tried to keep the gauze in place as he straightened the undershirt.

"If they taught you how to resist interrogation..."

Jack glanced up, holding his breath, dreading the question that was surely coming.

"Did they teach you how to torture people too?" He did not answer, lowering his head and staring down at his hands.

"Have you ever tortured someone?" She had heard bits and pieces of things over the years, and combined with what had happened in the last few days, it was finally enough to start putting the pieces together, to see her father as a man and not through the rosy haze of childhood.

He squeezed his eyes shut, then finally answered, "There are many questions you should never ask me, honey. I can't talk about my work, and even if I could, I wouldn't. I've been in the military and in intelligence for a long time, and I've had to do some unpleasant things in the course of my work. Not because I want to, but because it's not a perfect world, and sometimes these things need to be done."

"But why does it have to be you?"

"Because that's what I've been trained for, and because I'm good at what I do. I know it's not easy to understand, and it isn't easy for me either, not being able to talk about it. In the past, things affected me in ways even I didn't understand, so I'm sure you and your mother couldn't. That's what happened when your mom and I separated. Things had gone bad, very bad, when I went on that assignment a few years back, but I couldn't tell anybody anything about it, even your mother. I - "

He rubbed his hand over his face. "I made a mistake. I shut down, and I turned away from her, and you, because I didn't know how else to handle what I was going through. At the time, I thought I was handling it all right, but I wasn't. That's why we separated. I know you blamed your mother for making me leave, but it was really my fault. I wasn't there for her the way I should have been -- and your mother deserved better. You deserved better. Unfortunately, just as we were starting to put things back together again, that was when -- " his voice broke and he stopped talking.

Kim sat down beside him on the bed and took his hand, silently lending her support. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to keep from losing it at that moment, because she was finally beginning to forgive him for not being able to save her mother, and because he was finally beginning to forgive himself.

Somehow, he managed to keep his composure and continued, "I think you know by now that I'm not like the guy next door. I don't have a nine-to-five desk job in an office pushing papers. What I do is dangerous. There are a lot of bad guys in the world who want to hurt this country, and it's my job to stop them in any way I can. I'm not sure I'll take Tony up on his offer if they ask me to go back to CTU, but you need to know that if I do, there is no question that it is a risky job. But when I do put my life on the line, it's because it's worth that risk."

She shifted closer, leaning against him, and he put his arm around her. "That morning when I came to see you at the Matheson's, it was only a few minutes later that CTU called and asked me to come in. I hung up on them at first -- I didn't want to have anything to do with them any more. But then Palmer called me personally and asked me to go in and listen to what they had to say. I couldn't very well say no to the President of the United States, so I went. When I first heard about the bomb, I went right for the phone and called you, told you to get out of town. I had every intention of getting as far away from here as possible with you and letting someone else take care of it. But I knew I couldn't do that. I knew that if the bomb did go off, and all those people died, that I'd never be able to live with the fact that there was a possibility I could have stopped it from happening, but I didn't even try. And I don't think you'd respect me either if I did that. So I went back to work for CTU, and... Well, you know the rest."

"Yea, you saved the world. Again."

They both smiled for a moment.

"Until that day," Kim admitted. "I don't think I ever really accepted what you do. I guess I didn't want to admit to myself how dangerous it is. It's hard to imagine that your own father is one of those guys from the Special Forces action movies. And he could just as easily be the one who gets killed as the one who saves the day. I saw you like that, for a little while when Mom and I got kidnapped, but when Mom died it got pushed aside. I guess I never really forgot it though -- on top of everything else I couldn't deal with the fact that the guy who tucked me in at night and read me stories was also someone who -- " She lowered her head. "Who killed people as part of his job. Maybe that's another reason I kept pushing you away. I didn't know who you were anymore; I didn't know who I was."

He stroked her hair, surprised and saddened at how grown up his little girl had become. "It's in self-defense, honey." Another lie slid smoothly off his lips. "Most of the time I'm shooting at people who are trying to shoot me."

He could not imagine what she would think if she knew that only a few days ago he had killed the unarmed Goren in cold blood, taking his decapitated head to Wald in order to reestablish his cover as soon as possible in a crisis situation. _A natural born killer_, that's what Captain Wallace had called him. Sometimes he wondered himself how he could do what he did with so little emotion, taking consolation in the fact that it would undoubtedly haunt his dreams for many months to come, as did many of his previous missions. .. But his daughter did not need to know all of that.

"I'm not an assassin, but I will do whatever it takes to get the job done if the stakes are high enough."

"Like when you were going to go down with the plane with the bomb in it," she said softly, and he pulled her tighter against him.

"Yes, exactly like that."

They sat together in silence for a long time, and then Kim said, "I don't pretend to understand why you do what you do, but I am very proud of you, Dad. When I thought you were dead, it was awful. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it."

"Me too, sweetheart... me too."

She snuggled closer, her arm slipping across his back, and they settled into an affectionate, comforting embrace, her head resting on his shoulder, his cheek against the top of her head. Neither said a word, each savoring this rare moment of peace together after all the pain, grief and heartache they had been through in the last two years. This moment reminded Jack of when Kim's grandmother -- Teri's mother -- had passed away a few years back and how he had sat with her after the funeral, just like this, comforting her. That seemed like a lifetime ago now -- so much had changed, so many of the things he had taken for granted then were gone.

He thought he had lost Kim too after he had lost Teri. She would not even let him touch her, let alone hold her like this, so full of rage and grief, repeatedly lashing out at him for letting her mother die. His daughter's scathing, venomous words had cut deep, but not nearly as much as the things he said to himself, taking on all of the blame of Teri's death until the burden nearly crushed him.

Kim stirred, hugging him tight for a moment or two as she whispered against his chest, "I love you, Dad."

Tears stung his eyes again, but for the first time in a long time, they were happy tears. "I love you too, sweetheart," he whispered back, hugging her as he tenderly kissed the top of her head.

She was quiet again for many more minutes before she spoke again. "This is nice... being a family again... I've missed it."

"So have I," he said.

There were a hundred things he wanted to say, but instead he just held her close. He hoped that the conversation that they'd had when he had been flying the plane on the suicide mission -- the conversation that they both thought would be their final one -- would be something she would remember for a long time. She had tried to apologize for the way she had treated him, but he would not allow her, taking on all the blame himself, telling her he loved her more than anything, that he was proud of her, and to grow up to be the kind of woman that would make her mother proud. He truly had wanted to end it all at that moment, knowing it was a much more dignified way to die than putting a pistol to his head. It seemed incomprehensible now that it had been barely two weeks ago, and so much had changed. Jack Bauer never ran from a fight, and he could not believe he had allowed himself to fall that low. Teri's death had left a void in his heart that would never be fully healed, but his daughter's love and forgiveness was the one thing that could begin to make life bearable again.

Kim raised her head, looking up at him, a wistful smile on her face. "If Mom could see us right now, she'd be very happy, wouldn't she, Dad?"

He smiled back. "Yea, honey, she'd be happy." For the first time since her death, thinking about his wife did not hurt like a knife to the gut. "Very very happy."

_Life goes on, Jack_, he thought to himself as Kim hugged him.

He would gladly have sat there all afternoon with her, but eventually she stirred again. "Dad?" She pulled away, and reluctantly he allowed it. "It's getting late. We'll need to leave pretty soon for your rehab appointment."

"The hell with rehab. I'll go tomorrow," he muttered, not at all inclined to leave the house at this moment.

"No way." He could feel her spine stiffen before she stood up and planted her hands on her hips. "You know how important this is."

He looked up at her with a bemused smile. "Honey, I think you're forgetting who the parent is here."

"Well, _Dad_, I seem to remember you telling me that 'I don't feel like it' isn't a good enough reason not to go to school. You made me go to school, and now I'm making you go to your cardiac rehab appointment."

He stared at her, and then shook his head. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Her stubborn expression quickly turned into a dazzlingly smug smile. "Oh yea!"

He smiled back just as smugly. "I think I'll remember this the next time you want to go shopping with my credit card."

She just laughed, knowing full well he would never follow through on it, and headed back to her own room. "I gotta fix my face before we go. You better finish getting dressed."

A few minutes later, he came out into the living room, fully dressed in a T-shirt and jeans. He reached for the keys lying on the kitchen counter, but Kim grabbed them first. "I'll get the truck."

His jaw dropped at her audacity. "You are not driving."

"Oh yes I am."

"No, young lady, you are not. My truck, my rules. The doctor said its fine for me to drive."

"I want to drive," she said as she hurried towards the front door, dodging him when he tried to grab her. "I'll be waiting out front." She giggled as she opened the door and ran outside.

"Kim...!" He went to the door, yelling after her, "I thought you were supposed to be helping me _avoid_ stress!"

THE END


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